I am

I am not your toy.

I am not someone you'd want to flaunt at weddings and funerals.

I am not your maid, cleaning after you, cooking for you, waiting on you hand and foot.

I am not something for you to fall on top of at the end of the day... or someone who'll be the punching bag for you to take out your frustrations on.

I am definitely not the wallflower, smiling demurely, underplaying my passions and ferocity of will just so you can feel better about yourself.

I am a free spirit... with dreams and aspirations as real and valid as yours.

I am not the gentle breeze that you conjure up with the flick of your wrist. I am the tempest that blows you away.

I stand by my convictions and shall not change myself to please you or anyone else.

I love myself the most. And it took me a long while to get where I am at.

I am worthy of love and deserve the best. I know it and shall not settle for any less.

I am the girl who'll wake you up in the middle of the night and take you moonbow chasing.

I am the woman who's sure of herself and respects herself enough to not take your shit.

I am the one who'll listen to all your woes and give you honest advice... even if it stings.

I am who I am... I am me... and not for a moment do I need to be anything else but that.

On Friends and what they say

We’re all human. We’re all flawed; some of us more than the others. And we do not like having our flaws pointed out. It’s only natural… we know where we lack and it’s not a nice feeling having people point it out.

But sometimes, we need to have our shortcomings pointed out. And that is where true friends step in. We feel friends are those who uplift us when we’re down… encouraging us when we feel like shit. Yes, that is all true. But sometimes, the truest encouragement is not the kind words saying we’ll get our bearings, but rather the well-meaning kick in the back asking us to get our shit together. Now, it may seem harsh; even evil at times. But having been through depression at a point in my life, I’ll tell you this – that works wonders. Or rather, it should.

I had a friend give me the metaphorical kick when I was spending way too much money on things I didn’t need… heck, I would be broke a week within payday all because I had to go to this store and buy a feathered hair clip that I wouldn’t even wear! It was harsh… but I knew I needed it. And I can’t thank him enough for it. Yeah, at the moment, I felt it was unfair that he was being all bossy and what not… telling me how I should manage my finances. I thought, who gave him the right?! But now, I realize, him being my friend gave him the absolute right to do just what he did.

He didn’t mince words when he told me I was being irresponsible. I was. And it smarted because I knew he was true. And though I did sulk hearing that, I never dwelt on the hurt. I decided to see things from his perspective and I knew he was right. And he… he was a person who had been through some of the worst trials Life could throw at a person… and that too at a very young age. At a time when others were all going to college and hanging out with friends, my friend, he worked 2 jobs back to back while attending college and after graduation, went out and worked 2 shifts, just so he could clear off the debt incurred to treat his dying father.

I understood he knew what he was talking about. He is street smart in ways I wasn’t. And if I am who I am, able to hold my own in a fight or in a crisis, it’s because of what I’ve learnt from him.

So, the next time your best friend says something you think is mean, just pause… it could be that they have a point. Sometimes, the best way to get us on our feet is a good kick in the ass!