Finally out of my system!

Finally, I realize how immature some of my dreams and wishes have been. Ah well... I finally wake up to my senses here! :) And for those who wish to know what exactly happened, I'm not telling you! The beauty lies in intrigue.

I'm running out of in-country institutions who'll take me in for a Research Student. Looks like I might just need to apply to some "awesome" place abroad, go there, slog hard and get a shitty degree that will probably never hold any merit where it matters. But it's either that or get married to a CA Mallu Nair. Please don't be offended, people... I have nothing against Nairs or Mallus or CA graduates... but please... I cannot see myself living with someone who had the tenacity to spend a good part of his life, writing exams and doing accounts. If I need an auditor, I'll employ one. I don't need one for a husband! And the same goes out to prospective grooms stationed in "Nationalized" banks, "Software" companies and the other equally heinous places of work.

They are all people who've given in to the monotony of life... people who'll think I need a trip to the shrink when they see me dancing in my pajamas in the living room to ARASHI music... people who'll think I have got nothing better to do with life than to read up on invented languages. (anyone found insulting Tolkien's works in front of me will be hung by their thumbs!)

And then there's this fixation with all things Japanese... I know many of my own friends tend to shy away when I discuss these things... Sometimes I wonder if it would've been better if I was more like them.... then I kick myself and get back to my copy of "Genji no Monogatari".

I know I am not AT ALL smart in what I do... I am stuck in the middle... neither with the dunderheads nor with the smart elites. It can be lonely here... but heck... this is exactly who I am and this is exactly what I love about myself! I am not going to give myself up for anything that isn't worth my "weirdness"!

And to all those "mallu CA mapillai"s out there... Sorry fella'! But... this is NOT going to happen!

P.S. Isn't it weird how I'm typing this for the whole world to see but now, I would like nothing better than to give the guy next to my system, staring at my screen, an atomic wedgie?