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The days wane as I try to readjust my thinking to the fact that things will not be the same anymore... The hope I've sustained for a good two years and a half are slowly dying to cooling embers of desperation that seem to have no effect on anybody.... for once, I wish for happiness... I have never truly wished for anything for myself. All the good things in my life were thrust upon me at the most unexpected of times and then so ruthlessly snatched away again. And right now, it makes me wonder what I could've done to anger the higher Providence.. I still do have a few dregs of hope left... But I'm afraid to hope again...