Today, we had fish. Extremely potent and spicy fish! And if anyone is interested, I almost fainted eating it.
This had mom tell me how fish is supposed to be spicy and how I can't keep telling my husband that I can't cook spicy fish when he could love rolling around in chilies. This had me thinking. What is it that makes everyone just automatically assume that I will change my habits once I have a guy in my life? Sure, adjustments have to be there. Like getting the bowel movements organized and the extra laundry and all those things. But to actually tell someone that they should change everything about them and take up things that could give me extreme discomfort is not what I would call adjustment. And in the society where I come from, it's always the girl who adjusts. It's always the girl who takes care of all that her husband needs. The girl intuitively knows what her guy wants and needs and follows his uttered and silent commands to the T. In other words, she automatically becomes docile and obedient.
Now, if the guy likes it hot, I'll most probably divide my portions from his before I dump the chillies by the cartload and serve him his dish from hell! But apparently that just goes on to show I'm not adjusting with his tastes. Come on now! They can't be serious!! I've been called "spoilt" by people who have hardly known me and it amuses me even now. But to hear such backward a thought process from my own mother, that was an eyeopener!
It makes me wonder. If peanuts make me swell up like the Mardi Gras float and my husband happens to love peanuts, will they tell me that I should "learn to accept" peanuts even if I end up in the emergency room with a face swollen beyond recognition?
Strange... very strange!
This had mom tell me how fish is supposed to be spicy and how I can't keep telling my husband that I can't cook spicy fish when he could love rolling around in chilies. This had me thinking. What is it that makes everyone just automatically assume that I will change my habits once I have a guy in my life? Sure, adjustments have to be there. Like getting the bowel movements organized and the extra laundry and all those things. But to actually tell someone that they should change everything about them and take up things that could give me extreme discomfort is not what I would call adjustment. And in the society where I come from, it's always the girl who adjusts. It's always the girl who takes care of all that her husband needs. The girl intuitively knows what her guy wants and needs and follows his uttered and silent commands to the T. In other words, she automatically becomes docile and obedient.
Now, if the guy likes it hot, I'll most probably divide my portions from his before I dump the chillies by the cartload and serve him his dish from hell! But apparently that just goes on to show I'm not adjusting with his tastes. Come on now! They can't be serious!! I've been called "spoilt" by people who have hardly known me and it amuses me even now. But to hear such backward a thought process from my own mother, that was an eyeopener!
It makes me wonder. If peanuts make me swell up like the Mardi Gras float and my husband happens to love peanuts, will they tell me that I should "learn to accept" peanuts even if I end up in the emergency room with a face swollen beyond recognition?
Strange... very strange!
Wow. I would have lost it if my Mum started saying anything like that. If you were a vegetarian, would you be expected to give that up because the guy in your life likes steak? (Never giving that up!) Stay fierce and stay true to yourself. Relationships work because of compromises between both parties, not the subservience of one.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous, you made my day! :D
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