"I've found my Gautham, my friend!"
My smile waxed back to full form. She might not have chosen the person she loved, but she surely loved the person chosen for her.
Would I be capable of doing the same? I remember a colleague tell me how even after a year of marriage, there were still some things that were veiled to him... a sense of formality inbetween them. But his wife is expecting a child next year and I find it queer that so much intimacy has already been there between two people who can't even open up completely to each other emotionally... For them, begetting a child was just the next right thing to do... that was expected out of them.
I cannot for the life in me imagine myself getting intimate with a man that I do not trust completely! And that trust cannot be gained in just a few encounters! I first need a friend and only then can I even think of the next step!
I know I cannot say all these concerns I have to the people around me.... they might think me queer (more than before!). But, how can all this feel right? I don't understand.