Wednesday, January 28, 2009

A scientific look at the Species called 'The Professor'

The professor is a creature that is one of the most peculiar of all creatures observed. And when I say peculiar, I mean it in a subtle myriad ways!

And so, I decided to make a small data-sheet for this one of a kind creature.
(This was complied after months of intense research! Please do make sure to have my name included in any publications that you might publish this in! *snortguffawheheh*

  • Name: The Professor
  • Scientific Name: Blunderus Exaggerata (al.) Goofius Dodofiscia (al.) Viciouscula Vendettaidrela
  • Natural Habitat: Colleges and Universities. Mostly seen in the classroom ecosystem.
  • Place in the food-web: Predator with a capital neonized P!
  • Preferred environmental conditions: Dark and dingy classrooms populated with silent and befuddled creatures called 'Students' (This species will be covered later on).
  • Preferred Prey: Students...and other smaller professors at times.
  • Interesting facts: The Professor is an interesting creature and is a highly evolved species (even though it goes by the name 'Goofius Dodofiscia' at times). The Professor is the final result of the process of evolution of a simple Lecturer (Goofius Dodofiscia priori). It has been observed that in majority of the cases studied, the viciousness and air-headedness of the subject tends to remain constant or increase with time as it evolves.

    There are both male and female specimens in the species of The Professor and it is observed that they do not mate! And if by chance they do (AH! HEAVEN HAVE MERCY!!!), the outcome will not always result in the off-spring being a Professor. The only way this species maintains its ecological balance is either by being active in the ecosystem for a very loooong time (by this time it evolves into a new sub-species by the name Viciouscula Vendettaidrela Emeritus) or by the process of rapid evolution from a Lecturer to a Professor.

    The Professor is a pack animal and most packs are led by a single head who goes by the vernacular title of *Cue building dramatic pause* The H.O.D. The head is either a sedatory creature who hardly bothers with the minute details of the classroom activity, having many subordinates to do the dirty work; or turns into a horrid and rabid creature who puts the "Vicious" in Viciouscula Vendettaidrela!

  • Survival tips for those who encounter this species: Those who encounter the Professor will have to be very careful in their manner of behaving with this creature. The Professor is in essence a very simple minded creature and is highly prone to what is commonly known as 'flattery'. This includes praising their work on diaper designs for sparrows in the wild and their thesis on how the Universe was created by a Blender on high. But caution has to be exercised as too much flattery can cause excessive 'mental retching' in the case of the flatterer and an excessive helium inflation to the cerebrum in the case of the flatteree. because of this particular aspect, The Professor is also known by the name Flaterris Flatter (though certain experts disagree as not all Professors are prone to fall for this trick).

    Another way of appeasing The Professor from causing any harm is to obey its every whim and command. This also includes working on seven simultaneous papers that may be out of scope and feeding The Professor's pet piranha - at the same time. Though this method is highly tedious, it has been proven to work on almost all the subjects that were studied.

    The last option is to fall down and beg for mercy. This option is to be followed only if all the above options fail and one finds oneself between the Sea and The Professor.

  • More research is being taken up even as you read this and soon, many more interesting facts about this creature shall see the light of day.... your computer screen... television... whatever!

That's all we have for this edition. Kindly do visit us back again for more information on many other interesting creatures and species!

Thank you!

Monday, January 26, 2009


Ever felt an all time low after having had the most fun ever in years? Well... Right now, I am going through the very same... Ken has left for Hyderabad and suddenly I feel a little down. I guess I'll get back to that monstrous Cadburys Dairy Milk in the fridge (since I cannot afford a Ferrero Rocher as of yet!)

Oh... And I've a evry hectic week ahead! It involves stretching polymers, breaking steel rods and trying to solve Quantum equations. The last one shouldn't be that difficult. But of the other two, I'm not so sure!

Now to the wonderful prospect of death by chocolate! =(

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Anxious musings...

I wonder.... what does one do when a classmate asks you if you have cyanide or a .22 calibre pistol? Do you laugh at the person and walk away thinking perhaps the course was getting to his head or do you frown and bite your lip as you see someone you know suffer in the throes of depression.

Now, if you want to know what I did, I moderated between the two. But it still worries me to think that there is someone who's going through some kind of trouble and as a friend (to a certain degree), I knew nothing.

Now, this person isn't that close to me actually. He hardly talks to me per se... but well... I still respect him and I guess he feels the same way about him. And it has occured to many in my class (including me) that perhaps he is undergoing certain amount of depression.

And when he asked us all to give him a score on how he looked, I began suspecting maybe that is the reason of his insecurity. But he needn't exactly worry if that be the case. He isn't that bad looking a person. And let's face it... fifty years down the lane, most of us aren't going to look like Harrison Ford!

*sigh* And I also suspect perhaps he has been denied courtship by a lady. And if his looks were the reason, I seriously don't think he should go about worrying about that! I mean, look at me! I'm still alive even after having managed to remain totally oblivious to all the cute software engineers in Cognizant! ;D

Now all we can do is include him in all our group activities and hope to get him back out of his shell. Ai Elbereth! And they say girls are complex!

Friday, January 16, 2009

An Ode to Appu

This post is the result of a suggestion from one of my friends who, unable to bear my silly and totally annoying babbling anymore, suggested I write a poem about a good friend... And well... here it goes! :)

"Who'll be your best friend?"
The boy taunted the child.
And her eyes fell onto the floor
And so did her toothy smile.
A sniffle and a silent sigh -
She lifted her head back high!
"I've my Appu!" was her firm reply.

As though to attest her words,
As though to proclaim them true,
He whisked out the open door!
And all her troubles - away, they flew.
She hugged the fawn head
And got a wet lick back instead
And a joyous bark from his mouth, issued.

None did dare openly taunt her now.
Not that she cared what they thought!
She had a true friend for life
And thus all her pain, she forgot.
They'd frolic by the sea...
Not minding jealousy!
An adamant strong bond was wrought.

But things didn't go so well at all
And soon her friend passed through the veil
And alone she smiled as she cried
Knowing he was in a greener dale
"Farewell friend," she sighed at last
"You're the best of memories from my past!"
And so that's how I write this little tale.

I love you, Appu! My friend.... my philosopher... and my love!

As many must've guessed, Appu was my friend... he was not exactly human. But I speak the truth in letting people know he was the only one who stood by me when I was bullied by the neighbourhood kids, when I was alone, when I needed a shoulder to lean on. He was the (only) one who'd seen me cry and he had his own sweet way of letting me know that everything will be alright. I miss him now more than ever. :')
Hope he's finding doggy-heaven comfortable enough!

P.S. I know nobody's going to steal this not being exactly stunning and all... But well... if you do plan to take it, don't! It's akin to robbing a grave.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

The Bane of the Ban

This post is to bring to light the problem that many people in all the Third World countries are facing. And it is - restriction of Generic Drugs.

Many of us would remember how it was that in 2007, Novartis challenged the Indian Patent Laws so that they could put a stop to the manufacture of many generic drugs.

India is one place where many of the drugs that aid in saving lives but come at a monstrous price are made for about a tenth of that amount. And this means hope for many patients around the world. But Novartis seems to think otherwise.

Especially in the case of drugs like Imatinib which are used to treat rare cancerous conditions like CML (Chronic Myleoid leukemia) and rare cancers of the stomach and intestine.
And to make matters worse, the Madras High Court has asked many of the Indian Pharmaceuticals to stop manufacturing Imatinib as it would interfere with the TRIPS compliance.

And the reason they say they're stopping the drug manufacture is because it may affect Intellectual rights of the researchers involved. And that one statement alone makes me laugh. What kind of an intellectual rights would be left to exercise if the people who would be benefitted by that are dead?

Thanks to generic drugs, medical costs that normally can run upto $35,000 a year were brought down to less than $3,000 a year. And in many third world countries where a majority of the population survives on less than $2 a day, it can mean life and hope!

A good example of this is the anti-retroviral drugs that is exported to Africa from India.

In 2000, antiretroviral (ARV) treatment cost was estimated at $10,000 per patient annually. But the availability of generic drugs produced mainly in India, allowed costs to plummet to about $70 per patient per year.

If generic drugs are allowed to manufacture, it would only mean that those Big Pharmaceutical companies would lose out on the profit involved(approximately $500 million a year)! And it disgusts me to no ends when one knows that this money is made, gambling with the lives of poor people whose lives can be improved with generic drugs.

Maybe the pharmaceuticals can work out a Memorandum of Understanding between themselves such that drugs are given out cheaper at poorer countries. And Universities and the government will have to improve the research conditions in the fields of pharmaceuticals and health-care. That way, India can boast of her own innovations and can give better drugs at cheaper prices.

In any case, for now, we can only hope that soon India would again begin manufacture of generic drugs or atleast that the big pharmaceutical firms give out drugs at lower prices.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Remembering Ninja

Today, I came across this one article about a cat - Ninja. What's so special about this feline, you ask?

Well... the story ebhind ehr is not a funny or happy one, my friends! 'Tis a sad tale.

Read it here -->> Click me!

And having read that, I wondered, things aren't that different here either!

When was the last time you saw a dog or cat run away, afraid, as you bent down to light a fire cracker? Yep! I'm talking of the 'Oh-yay-special' Diwali that we celebrate!

It goes on without implication that animals are terrified of the loud and bright fireworks, we inconsiderate humans indulge in. And there are so many reports of animals suffering because of burns or have lost a leg or a tail or turning permanently deaf because some Idiot felt the best place to light up fire crackers was right next to the sleeping creature!

It's about time we thought about this... Diwali without crackers isn't that bad an idea! I've been following the 'no-crackers' way for more than seven years now and I'll have you know, I feel much better!

It is far more gratifying when you know that your Diwali was an enjoyable one - not just for you, but for every single creature on the planet!

This blog will henceforth feature a lot more of such tales and rants regarding animal issues! If it makes you readers a little uncomfortable, I'm sorry! The truth was never comforting to begin with! =)

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Reminiscing the good 'ol days!

Hello there, my dear readers! Ah! It has been long, hasn't it?

Well... I was quite busy with updates regarding my fanfiction and other literary pursuits so I think I should be excused. Though I wonder if anyone missed me! :D

(Caution: This post could be extremely sentimental and should never be used to blackmail the authoress later on! Any attempt to do so will result in severe sporking and incessant rendering of silly, fluffy Mary-Sue'ish fanfics!)

Ah well... there are things that I sorely miss and this post is to shed light on one of those dear things. Being with friends. Ah! Before you decide to classify this as an angsty rant by someone on the throes of depression, I would like to clarify. I don't mean to say I don't have good friends! No! I've realized that now... there certain people who have stood by me through thick and thin....people I've known to be true and caring.

I had a reunion with two such friends of mine. And it made me yearn for the school days that I so foolishly thought were all uneventful! Sure, half the time I was comically running between classes and the nurses' office, but there were the good times too! And they were there with me.

Minu, Vini, Pavi and Deeps... This post is a tribute to you guys!

We all started out as classmates and soon that relationship deepened into friendship. And the bond of fellowship has only grown stronger with the years! I wish we could stay sixteen forever... never grow up... never have to part ways... always joking... always carefree... but the cruel thing called Time wanes for all of us!

But yesterday, when Minu and Vini came over, it felt like I had been transported to some scene of the past... all three of us, the oldest in the group... laughing till our sides hurt, talking of everything under the sun... Oh the joy!

I'm glad to have known you guys and hope I'll be lucky enough to have your friendship for the rest of my life.