......

I have been upto so serious exam writing till now.... running around places, sitting in cramped trains trying to get myself into some good university... and suddenly, it occurs to me. Have I really got what it takes? I guess I assume I'm good at Science. But most of my friends are better than me! Way better... Better enough to get scholarships and stuff! ARGH!!! I just wish some university would take me in! I swear to work harder (well.. if you're not smart enough, hardwork's the only thing that can bail you out.... and then there's luck.. but I've never been lucky!)
It's ironic but ever since tenth grade, I've never gotten whatever I truly wished for. I don't know if I would be happier with what I have or with what I wish I could've had. But I cannot answer this question since both the situations are mutually exclusive...
Now I wish I get through Pune or Hyderabad University... But somehow, I'm scared of hoping for too much....
I just don't know what to hope for anymore... and I am equally scared of saying these fears to family and friends.. they might think I'm being paranoid.. Oh well... I've always hidden my fears deep inside. I'll just continue to do so.