Aaaah.... Aaaah.... Achooooooooo!!!

Having a head cold and having to study Thermodynamics and having to track down certain people for payments due all at the same time can make a person a little light headed. And so, this is hiatus till I feel a little better! :D

P.S. Rants on all topics mentioned above shall be forthcoming in the subsequent posts.

Njanappana... chaos... attractors... brahmi... changes...me.

WARNING: A very long post ahead! :D
Just this morning, being extremely bored and tired of ramming in metallurgy into my skull, I decided I'd just randomly surf the net. And so, for some unfathomable reason, I had Poonthaanam's Njanappana stuck to my head and one particular verse kept repeating itself -

"കണ്ടു കണ്ടങ്ങിരിക്കും ജനങ്ങളെ

കണ്ടില്ലെന്നു വരുത്തുന്നതും ഭവാന്‍

രണ്ടു നാലു ദിനം കൊണ്ടൊരുത്തനെ

തണ്ടിലേറ്റി നടത്തുന്നതും ഭവാന്‍"

Meaning: If Bhagavan (Krishna) wishes, those people whom we see today may disappear (may be dead) by tomorrow. Again if Bhagavan decides, with in a few days (two or four days) a healthy man’s dead body may be carried to the funeral pyre.

Quite philosophical ne? And this set me thinking... human beings are so transient. In this gargantuan world, where everything doesn't remain the way it was a while back, change is probably the only constant. be it in people or in places... And that thought inturn had me reaching for the website with information on Poonthanam. I mean, here was a guy who so languidly depicted change with such profound a metaphor. Forget the question of the existence of God... it is true that our future is as inexplicably uncertain as it can get. Probably we can have a Lorentz attractor constructed for our future and we realize, it's deterministic chaos as with every other phenomenon we observe, with the degree of change in probable observation changing from one system to another... Okay... enough Science jargon! Let me get to the point.

All this talk on the transient got me into something that we all take for granted... languages. Yes, we think it's something that has always remained the way we knew it... or did it? I've been quite the buff as far as languages go. Sometimes, I let me Quantum mechanics slip when I meet some script that looks distinctly similar but so different. And you've got to admit... languages define us as a people and a culture and when one understands the language, one has understood the people who speak it. And so, I turned my attention to Brahmi. And for those who don't have an inkling what it is, I'm not referring to the medicinal herb that is being advertised like crazy these days! This is a script... a code for writing what was being spoken - a sign that Man had finally moved beyond just grunting random sounds and into the true folds of sapience and sentience.

Almost every single Indian language owes its present written form to Brahmi and it amazes me that the final product resembles nothing like how it looked ages ago!

The evolution of the alphabet 'NA' through the ages (click for a detailed view)

Amazing and so... beautiful, isn't it? Now, I have half the mind to take up the study of languages! :D

The lonely psyche amidst the crowd

They always say that Man is a social island and that no man is an island. If I could find the person who first decided to quote this, I swear I’ll kill him slowly!

Today, even though we have a huge crowd around us all the time, deep down inside, each person is as isolated as one can get. And this sense of loneliness is worse than truly being alone.

Everybody needs to get ahead of everybody else. There’s no place for the strong and for those who feel. To actually act human is a sin in today’s world. If you were to smile, it must be for obtaining something. If you were to hug someone, it’s most probably because you want something from them. It could be as materialistic as their money or as subtle as their presence… We have ceased to love just because we do.

And now, as I sit and wonder, I begin to realize that I am being left behind. I found it absurd that one should smile at someone for whom only the deepest hatred stems from our heart… all because we need that person for something or the other. Or that we can throw away someone we cared for just because they no longer are of any use to us. But now, I realize that I am some of the very few who actually feel that way. And today, there aren’t many who truly need me and so, they seem to want nothing to do with me. But to be brutally honest, everybody acting this way hurt someone or the other. Somehow we run from those who chase us and chase those who run from us.

Strange… and yet so beautifully saddening.

Must watch! Must see The Rite

I just realized that it has been ages since I've seen a movie at the theaters. And I just came upon the trailer of the yet to be released "The Rite".

It's a psychological thriller that shows the journey of a skeptic catholic priest as he delves deeper into the abbeys of his faith and emerges with the truth... or does he?

The film stars my all time favorite Anthony Hopkins and Colin O'Donoghue and is directed by the Swedish film writer and director Mikael Håfström.

It has indeed been quite some time since I've seen a good horror movie that does more than just scare... I'm talking about playing mind games with the audience here. I'm sure there hasn't been a movie along those line ever after "The Exorcist".

This movie is based on the book The Making of a Modern Day Exorcist by Rome based Matt Baglio.

The movie will be hitting the theaters in the US on January 28th next year. Assuming a worldwide release, I am eagerly waiting for its release here. Anyone game for a movie date? :D

P.S. The smell of Himalaya Gentle Face Wash gel is really soothing! :)

Old wine... in a new bottle!

I've been thinking... I've had this particular layout and graphics for the Blog for a good two years and more. And right now, I feel a remodeling is in call! What do you say, folks? ;)

And so, soon.... very soon, we'll have a totally different blog atmosphere here. I can assure you that the content and the chutzpah will be the same. Metaphorically speaking, good vintage wine in a new bottle! :D

Finally...Photoshop CS5 Extended has arrived!

Yesterday was a pot pourrie of mixed emotions.... I managed to bring to light the fact that I absolutely suck at spectroscopy and have the most interesting habit of forgetting the simplest formulae in Math when I need it the most. But on the positive side of things, I managed to procure Photoshop CS5 Extended! For all the nit pickers out there, I downloaded it from the Adobe site and intend to have some really close friends get the legal copy for me as soon as the trial period expires! :)

Ever since I'd lost my software collection to the Virus Demons of the Netherworld, I've always felt that my computer feels like a patient with selective amnesia! It's the same... but somehow, saddeningly different! But having Photoshop in my Iris' brain again feels so good... Finally, she shall remember herself to be the Majestic and Uber cool computer that she was!

And so, without further much ado, I proudly doth announce,

And so, while I try mastering the ancient art of preparing for a PhD and enjoying life at the same time (can it be done? :D) while I simultaneously take time for my hobbies of designing and writing all at one go, you can be rest assured that there'll be more on it's way where this came from!

P.S. I know the picture looks very simple and not exactly as flashy as is to be expected from someone who's gotten their hands on the latest copy of Photoshop... please bear with me this once. I'm still reeling from the shock of finally having it with me! :P

Letting it be...

Let it be....

I know it's difficult when things don't go the way you want them to. Just let it be. Sometimes, we wish we'd been more eloquent with how we felt... a million words float up our mind's deep abyss but we keep it all so hidden underneath a friendly smile. We fear so much that we let our hearts wither a little rather than have it broken.

Let it be....

What will happen will happen; whether we will or we won't. Like a tiny boat running away from the Scylla only to be in the midst of the Charybdis, some things cannot be avoided. And if it is meant to be, it will happen...whether we will or we won't.

So, as simply as letting the crumpled and stowed hopes of life flutter down to the snowy ground underneath, let it go.... let it be...

Smile... you're beautiful!

Being a girl is such an arduous task these days! Somehow, I feel I had it easier than the ones today. Imagine a twelve year old taking up waxing sessions and the like!

Sometimes, we feel that the reed thin girls from commercials and hoardings are the epitomes of beauty and this rubs off the children. And something like that leaves an indelible impression that leads to anorexia, lack of self-esteem and depression.

So what if you have a tinge of facial hair? So what if your face has freckles? So what if you don't wax or have never been acquainted with a razor? Big deal! YOU are still beautiful... inside and out. Sure, you may not know the difference between a foundation and a concealer (I don't know myself! :P). That does not mean you're ugly. That just means you've never felt the need to use them to hide your "blemishes". Stop looking at them as blemishes and as a part of you... Beauty is all about how you feel. Not all the lipsticks, rogues, creams and lotions in the world can bring out the beauty in you as a heartfelt smile can. So, smile... take heart! You're beautiful!

On an ending note, I'd like to recall what Maya Angelou quoth,

"I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."

Too true, isn't it? ;)

I'm sorry.

Isn't it weird how we blame others of having slighted us when we ourselves do the very same wrongs to someone else?

I'm ashamed to say that I have failed her. Having been through the throes of loneliness, I should have known its ill effects on souls better than anyone else! She looked up to me for support and I was not there for her. And yet, I cry like a craven fool saying that I am all alone! I have no right to crib anymore... I have no right to reach out when I did not hold on to the paw she reached out to me!

Tsuyoshi... I'm sorry for having left you alone when you needed me the most. I'm sorry for being the helpless twit that I am. I'm sorry I gave in to the inconsiderate calls of my family telling me you were just a dog... I'm sorry for not being the friend you truly deserved. And now that you've gone, probably sensing that you weren't needed here, I can see how alike we were.

Sometimes I wonder if I am truly needed anywhere. And I had one ray of hope where you told me through unspoken words that you did. And I.... let you go.

I'm sorry.... I truly am. I blame myself the most for having let this happen. And I pray you're better off somewhere else. But my most fervent prayers are for your return... But then again... I wonder if prayers ever have an effect! I've lost hope.... utterly so!