Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Viral woes! (a.k.a.) How Author-san fought and vanquished evil Viruses from her PC.

Disclaimer: This post is not intended to tell you how to disinfect your infected system. I'm just describing what an ordeal it really was. If you need help, there are other "BETTER" sites out there folks! But if you want to have some moral support as you try to defeat the fiendish virus, read on comrade! :D

What do you get when you add poor unsuspecting Daddy dearest, a really convincing "check your PC for viruses" pop up and Internet Explorer? If your answer is Pandemonium, you couldn't be farther fro m the truth!

Dad had been downloading some Carnatic music from the interwebs (LOLSpeak for the Internet ;P) using IE when a gazillion pop ups come raining down on him and in an eager attempt to close them down, he ends up clicking on some obscure link and TADA!!!! I've 'Security Tools' installed in my Hard Drive!

I was busy letting yesterday's Butter Naan out when he started shouting like the house was on fire and I rushed outside (after completing the procedures completely! :D) to find so many "Your system is infected by yadda....yadda... blah blah... yaddadiyadda" pop ups, it was hurting my eyes!

Apparently, the cunning bastards who designed this malware disguised it as an Anti-spyware application and starts running the moment Windows was started! I, to be honest, thought it was a genuine Anti-spyware in the beginning but when I paid closer attention to the pop ups, I couldn't see any link towards the authors of the application or at least the name of the company responsible for the application.

I couldn't just click on the "Yeah, I know my PC is the Grand Central for all Viruses, Malware, Spyware... Now shut the fuck up!" option. If I needed to close all those gazillion pop ups, I needed to pay for a two year license! $50! Can you believe it?!

Well... I needed to be double sure if this was actually safe and so, I got online (after letting my Dad know he did a BIG boo-boo! :P I Love him to bits you see!) and I hadn't even completed typing the 'Tools' in 'Security Tools' when good ol' Google Search appends virus to it. Now, it can be safely assumed, I squeaked like those hideous squeaky shoes that people force their kids to wear and clicked on the first link that promised me a way out of this mess all the while negotiating through the myriad pop ups that still kept popping up like Hobbits on mushrooms!

I tried all the possible ways they advised me to follow (excluding swearing like a Truck Driver on a roll) and I so devotedly did! Let me tell you something at this juncture folks... the a**ho** who designed this stupid Virus is going to die of Dysentry!

The Damned thing wouldn't let me run any of the Malware busting softwares I'd installed... I tried so many different configurations that my system couldn't take it anymore and flashed a Blue screen before rebooting.

"Satrum manam thalaraaatha blog author," I rebooted my system in safe mode, weeded out the offending application's registry keys and then ran the Anti Malware software. TADA!!!! Security Tools has gone bye bye!

I'm having our Techie-guy (read the poor soul who repairs my poor PC whenever I fiddle with what ought to be left alone! :P) come tomorrow and have the latest Software Protection enabled! BRING IT ON, VIRUSES! MOMMY'S READY FOR YOU BITCHES! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

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