Arbit thoughts about an arbit event

In countries like mine, arranged marriages are the norm. It involves the parents hunting for that perfect bride or groom for their children and having a match that's based on so many different parameters. The horoscopes, the caste, the religion, the lifestyles... the list is next to endless! And when one finds all these parameters matching to a certain extent, (a perfect match is a hypothetical phenomenon!) the prospective bride and groom talk to each other. Now, there is the question of compatibility. Does the girl go on and on about her favorite saas-bahu serial? Or does he talk about work and very little outside work? The proposals are dropped then and there. And then, if the two people find that there is a very good chance of them being capable of cohabiting a room without boring the other person to death, they move on to the next step which looks like a business negotiation. Sure, there are quite a few families that don't expect anything from the girl's side and vice versa but there are an equal number of other folks who put their demands out into the open with not an ounce of compunction. Sometimes the talks stop then and there and sometimes, the negotiations are made and the marriage materializes on middle ground.

And after all this is over, the engagement happens. This is like an unwritten deal between the two parties signalling that the boy and the girl are reserved for one another and they can now talk freely and work out the kinks if any. Sometimes the engagement is the day before the wedding and sometimes it is a year before the wedding. And the girl and the boy are expected to get to know each other by then (read: the girl must memorize all of the boy's likes and dislikes!).

And then the marriage happens and the girl and boy are left alone to do what they will with their lives together. the grownups will interfere only in the gravest of cases (though the mother-in-law is more than happy to decide everything for the couple... she knows best!).

In the midst of this pandemonium, the girl and the boy are sometimes (more often than not), overwhelmed by it all. I'm in a way happy that arranged marriages these days involve more of the ones getting married than from my parents' times. But still... it is so overwhelming. If the guy is someone employed in some other country, then the girl needs to adjust and adapt to the new place immediately!

Then again, if all of this is so troublesome, why do so many people choose to get married? Why don't they just choose someone for themselves and then bring in the family at a later stage? The answer is quite simple. Irrespective of how advanced we might pride ourselves to be, there remains one corner in every one of our hearts that yearns to hold onto the frayed strands of a yesteryear age. One where everybody had a say... one where we were all one big family. One where selflessness was a virtue that wasn't just preached. And we know, in our wisest moments, that those were some good old times!

Who I am is not exactly who I should be... apparantly!

Forget the adage of ages old that professed the virtue of being true to yourself. Forget the sincere yearning to be accepted for what you are. It is all about showing the world what the world wants to see. Oh, you just saved a dying puppy and gave it a fresh leash at life? Isn't that just commendable? NOT! That means you're going to be dabbling in the mud with flea-ridden mongrels. Did you just smile at someone who happens to be working at your place and offered a kind word or two? Dear me! You haven't the slightest inkling on how the rungs of respectable society are fashioned!

And if you're on the verge of getting married, this applies especially to you! You do not want to be seen in unfavourable light in front of the family of the groom who is looking for the epitome of grace and finesse in their prospective bride!

Ai Elbereth.... what I wouldn't do to just let my hair down and have things be the way they are... I am what I am. I rescue mangy mutts from the road. I don't give a damn how much my "maid" earns and I couldn't care a rat's fart if I were to be seen hugging her or giving her a friendly word or two. And yes, I detest calling her by her name. She is my mother's age and that means she deserves equal respect! Can't handle all this? I suggest you indulge your locomotory organs in an exercise that shall take you the farthest from me! And Adieu to you too!

On how my test went and how I suddenly feel the urge to throttle somebody!

My JLPT models went pretty well. I managed to score a 85.6% score and apparantly, that's pretty good.But seriously... I am aiming for a score above 95%. This is because, if I cannot manage a strict score above 90% at least in all my JLPT lower levels, I can just forget about taking it further! It is bound to get harder!

Oh people of Japan! How on earth do you guys manage with the grammar and the Kanji?! Then again, I learnt Sanskrit and compared to that, Japanese Grammar is pretty simple. Ah well... A long way to go still! I need to study hard!

And don't you just hate it when people reply to your long mails in a single word?! Seriously... What's the matter with folks?! Seriously, sometimes I wish I could march up to them and shake them by the collar and ask them what the problem is! Ah, more details in later posts! :)

Yikes!

JLPT Model tests are happening today! And me? I haven't studied a thing! This is going to be very interesting indeed! :(

I cannot believe this!

I need to pinch myself... I need to make sure this isn't some sort of hallucination! Did my parents actually for once agree that my Japanese classes were of worth?!

Wow! Now, I'm being encouraged to do what I love the most! Yay me! God exists, I tell you! 

The Game's way

Date: Two days ago...
The time was well nigh twelve in the afternoon. I was staring at the screen with concentration evident in my strained forehead. There was just about no way that I could've lost that game! My friend sent me a smiley as he probably saw the margin of his win. This was not happening! I was the one who'd taught him the game! It was I who had known of the rules ahead of him! I had been in "Guru" and yet, now I feel a little foolish. How on earth did I lose?! And that too with half the board having his coins! There's just no logic to it! It was time to recoup! It was time I'd come up with a stratergy. And then it hit me... my mistake...

Date: Today...
"I'm looooooooosing...." I could almost hear the tapping on his "O" key.

I smiled as I told him just how even the two of us were at that point. I hoped he wouldn't get what I meant. It was selfish of me... yes. But for once, I was playing like I ought to. And he had the first move. So, no complaints! And then he resigned... I had won. It felt enlightening.

Moral? The game of Go is not all about aggression. If one were to play like a bandit, one would get the random spoil. But to win it, one needs to play like a true shogun. To blindly attack is disastrous! I'm learning... who knows, maybe this might be one of the few things I'm genuinely good at? :)

Care for a game of Go? :)

It's all arranged!

After quite a long time, I spoke with one of my best friends. We hadn't heard each other for quite some time and so, there was a lot to discuss... there were those issues regarding her love-life where her boyfriend's parents were not ready yet to accept the fact that their son can now actually choose someone worthy enough to spend the rest of his life with. And then there were her troubles about her future career that echoed with mine. And then there was this discussion on marriage and on how sometimes, we just wished to leave it all behind and be alone.

Many have asked me if I'll miss my parents when I get married and move to my husband's house. The truth? Yes... a little. But not too much. From as much as I can garner insight, I guess they'll miss me more than I would miss them. And the reason? Because I always chose to have an invisible moat between me and the ones around me. It wasn't some decision that spawned out of some traumatic experience. It's just the way I am. I am a bit detached from everything around me. Maybe being the only child... having played alone throughout my childhood, having had interests that were a little weird according to societal standards... they've all played a part in molding me into what I am today.

And now, when the men in shining armors stand before me, some hoping to wed me and some that my parents hope I shall wed, I begin to wonder. What's the point of it all? Some come, drawn by the fact that I am the only daughter. Others, because I have an education that can "probably" yield a good job. And a few others because they think I look pretty. And what of me? Well... it should be evident... I'm detached... Everybody is the same and I am yet to choose anyone. And I shalln't fall head over heels for anyone. Don't you know? It's all arranged!