Jane in love... In love with Jane!

As my previous post illustrated, right now, I am immersing myself in the world of Jane Austen. I've been doing almost nothing (other than Japanese classes and other household chores) but reading about this wonderful lady and the world as she must've perceived it. My mother is reading Pride and Prejudice right now and I am only hoping that she finds the book as magical as I did. In the midst of my queries regarding the lady, I managed to stumble upon a really interesting article about speculations about Ms. Austen's love life. For a lady who wrote such enchanting and believable romances that never bordered on the perverse but rather charmed the populace with the fluid gentleness and chastity that's lost on the world these days, one is made to wonder as to where her inspirations must have come from.

Picture © The Republic of Pemberly

And I believe I have something very interesting to share! Apparently the lady did have a gentleman at heart. Now, before people go jumping at me saying that they've known of it all along and there's even a movie made to that effect - Becoming Jane, let me clarify myself. The movie seems to take a few things for granted like the fact that Tom and Jane never eloped and maybe Tom wasn't as flirtatious as Mr. McAvoy portrayed it to perfection! (I somehow wish everyone gets someone like the Thomas Lefroy that James McAvoy played!)

But that aside, the article gives an insight into how Austen must have dealt with the romance that never could happen. This article also shows insights into what might have happened. I should say, my respect for the lady has gone up in multitudes when I realize that she was a person who seemed to have a subtle wit even when her world was unraveling around her. And it also takes away some of the "joy" I must feel when I read her works because, well... she probably was living her wishes through her characters and that is such a sad thing to happen to anyone!

It makes me wonder if we would have these wonderful creations had her lot been a happier one. But then again, would I prefer her happy? Can I, without an ounce of selfishness, declare that I would rather see her married to the man she loved than become the immortal legend that she became in reality? I don't know.

Ah... Sadness.... such a beautiful emotion. I wonder if life would be half as beautiful without this feeling of a huge lump in our throats!

Blame... Blame.... Blame!

I've some very sad news to share. An 18 month old child was mauled to death by a pack of stray dogs in Bangalore. My deepest condolences and the kindest thoughts go with the mourning parents of the deceased. And I know that nothing can ever make the pain go away as far as their loss is concerned. You can read more on that story here.

But I've also been seeing a lot of "Anti Animal Rights Activist" thing going on. It's like almost the entire country is bashing the animal rights activists for having brought about the ABC law (Animal Birth Control law) into existence. And though I know the incident was extremely sad and unfortunate, there's really no need to bear up the arms against the activists!

Now, let us ask ourselves a few questions before we begin the activist bashing. Alright?

Who's to blame here?

The dogs? The guy around whom the dogs hung around? The parents?

To be missed is the best of things!

I know I promised not to blog too much. But I need to get this out of my system if I ever hope to get back to normal. Today, I witnessed a little puppy die. Some careless driver ran his vehicle over his head in the night. Now this animal was one the countless homeless strays that Indian roads are infamous for. The thing that hits me the hardest is that when I was heading for the temple, I saw the little one sleeping in one corner, very much alive. And when I was heading back, I saw him dead... the accident must've happened just a few minutes before. I couldn't control my grief... I broke down.

Now, I understand people around me find it weird that I can remain resilient to grief (visibly atleast!) during the funeral of a relative but can so easily crumble at the sight of some random animal's death. I don't know... I guess I'm a loser if that's what people would like to believe it so. And frankly, I don't care. It's the saddest thing ever not to be missed... Not to be cried for in Death. It's just too sad to be nonchalant when one sees such sad things! And the thought that the puppy will not be sorely missed makes me sadder... I miss him... I hardly know him but I already miss him!

Little angel who flew to the skies today, I love you! And I'm a little consoled knowing you're in a better place... Rest in peace loved one!

P.S. If all of you who read this could send a little prayer for the countless homeless animals out there and do what you can to make their lives better, I'm sure the world would be a much better place! Love shown to a homeless animal is returned manifold! Believe me, I know!

Hesitation...

Ah... finally, the days come to a close. I shall be writing my final exams soon and after that, I shall no longer be a masters student from the illustrious Anna University. Strange... I wanted to be rid of that place as soon as possible and now, when I am finally where I thought I wanted to be, I'm not so sure if this is indeed what I want.

I'll miss the people who'd studied with me these past two years. I'll miss the library that has been kind enough to lend me expensive books that otherwise, I could ill afford. The few professors for whom, I have the greatest respect. The people I met... the ones who have influenced me and whom I've influenced. The heartbreaks... The patch-ups... The silent gestures of subtle understanding...The sighs of despondence... The wisdom that was attained. Most of these things, I shall carry on with me as memories... like the sifting of leaves, I shall some wintry day, sift through these thoughts and smile at a joke that holds no merit to anyone but myself.

Farewell day draws near... and I am at loss what to say or do.

I don't know what to say... I truly don't!

I've realized that I am not exactly the best person to offer serious consolation when needed! I am the person to come to when you need to make a joke out of the situation.... but when serious times come calling and all the contact I have with that person is through a chat window or a phone, I just don't know how I can sound sincere without sounding too condescending!

To all my friends out there who'd told me something really sad and I'd replied, "I don't know what to say...", I truly mean it... I have not an inkling what to say. And I don't want to say something and make you feel bad or disdained!

But, please remember that I truly do feel for you. And it's really sad for me not to be able to do anything! :(

True feelings emerge...

It hasn't been a day since they found out the remains of the dead Chief Minister of Andhra Pradesh and his party people have already started fighting over who would be the next CM. And thanks to his demise, I got a day off today. And I'm already feeling bad for feeling thankful! How can we be so callous when it comes to 'others'? We feel when someone close to us dies. But for some reason, that feeling is absent when some stranger dies.

I don't think we can be blamed for that. I mean, we're human after all! To feel sad for every death would make our existence a dreary one. But I still cannot digest what those politicians in AP are doing. I'm sure YSR's family are feeling disgusted by what they see. And all I can say is that, I feel for them.

I hope YSR is finally in a happy place, away from people who've used him or given him a bad name. Rest in peace, sir. And as for all those other people who're fighting it out for the post of the next Chief Minister, You guys'll die one day too and then we'll see how many people feel sorry, seeing you go!

Dog days...resolve to reform!

Today was one of the most miserable days in my lofe so far... And its not even noon yet!
I saw a stray dog die in front of my Grampa's house...and I was forbidden to do anything about it! Blame it on the ridiculous belief that almost every stray dog is rabid and that's not a life worth saving.

The poor thing was actually alive and people mistook it for dead just because flies had started swarming around it... A dehydrated... defeated creature.... without even the rudimentary strength to shoo the offending insects away... almost like he'd given up already. His only sign that he was alive was the heaving of his belly... as he struggled to breathe his last. And all the other hundred and odd people who passed that way did was give it a curious stare and move.

It did take a while to have my grandparents believe that the poor thing was indeed alive! And when he did see the belly heave up painfully and laboriously, my grampa smiled sheepishly and confessed he mistook it for a dead one. Now I ask you... these same people criticize hospitals for negligence. And NO! This is not that simple a matter! Life's at stake here as well!
I wasted no further time in accusations and called the Blue Cross of India

(Their's was the only phone which was answered. SPCA!! Hullo? Do you even exist? Or are your 'staff' busy playing 'duck duck goose' when animal lives are at stake?)

I wasted no time in letting the Blue Cross know that there was a dog in very critical condition. And I also gave them my number and the address... But that was all in vain... for in another half an hour, the poor thing had died... (yes! There's just one Blue Cross office and its on the other side of the city! Nice!)

And just to get the records straight, they haven't come yet... and it's been hours since we called.

And nobody even seemed to be bothered that a life was lost... except silly stupid me! I sat there beside the dog, crying my eyes out while the other 'humans' walked away muttering under their breath. And One little thing... I wasn't and shall never be ashamed of what I did. If someone had thought of calling the Blue Cross earlier. It had apparently been there since early morning. And they HAD to wait for me to drop by. They must've decided that it was not their business... These are the same people who stand around an accident victim for the free drama. The same people who'll stand back and look at a girl getting mollested in a train. The same people who'll shrug their shoulders saying what they could do and then complain that the system wasn't right. It's about time they WOKE UP! Did something for a change.

And I've decided... my path is clear in front of me. And I guess this incident just made my resolve even stronger. I'll DO something. And when I do that.. I needn't talk about it....my deeds should and shall talk for themselves.

P.S. Remember the nosy neighbour I had, well... she was there and she did make it a point to ask me if it was dead. Well Lady... at the rate at which the world's going... it wouldn't surprise me if most of us die just like that... unattended... sans dignity... sans mercy. And in someways... that shall complete the circle of Karma. Though... I don't decide that!

P.S. Time - 9:00PM
The people from Blue Cross never turned up... So, I guess I should be thankful the creature had to suffer less in a way. But that still is never an excuse for their indifference.