Saturday, October 11, 2008

Consolace and the lack of it

As I must have mentioned in my previous post... or maybe I didn't... whatever! One of Mom's friends is suffering from Oral cancer. And suddenly, all his friends (Mom included) are rushing to call him or to meet him.

It makes me wonder... how many of these 'well meaning comrades' actually are well meaning? Mom's been on the phone non-stop, sharing tid-bits of information and gossips about the poor ailing friend - details like how he got the problem, what he's doing, if he will survive at all... things like this.

And I should say I truly pity that person. Sure... he did misuse the 'pan supari' a lot. But that doesn't mean every single friend should call him up and tell him that! For the love of God, he knows that already! It's almost like the time when you've failed an entrance exam and everybody calls you up and offers their condolences and chides you (in a well meaning way they say!) for not having studied well enough!

It makes me wonder... how many of these friends are actually aware of the fact that rather than offering him solace, they're actually making him go through a maelstrom of emotions ranging from guilt to self-hate?

And Mom wants to visit him. I wonder how many have already paid him a visit...silently tutted at his follies and sighed in sadness outside? For once, I wish that if people don't have something consoling to say, they should just shut up and not say anything at all!

Mom is busy exchanging numbers with her numerous 'well-meaning' friends, behind me... hoping to get that person's number. And for once, I wish she'd look up and gets the hint! Leave him alone!

But I guess she'll never understand.

The ones who constantly talk seldom listen and in silence, one can find all answers...

Nobody Understands!

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