Friday, July 8, 2011

On why I am literally scared of the common cold!

I hate the cold... I absolutely positively hate the common cold. I despise it. The very thought of that vile disease makes me want to make punching bags in the shape of the rhinovirus and beat the crap out of it!

Yesterday, I had the dams of my nasal cavity break and that made me sound more like a blue whale than a person. Dad, being the wonderful conjurer that he is, conjured up a tub of steaming water, some really pretty green capsules and a huge blanket. I'm not sure how many of my darling readers know this fact... but I'm acutely claustrophobic. Put me in a closet and I might just scream and claw myself to insanity. And so, as can be imagined, covering my head with a blanket and taking in the steam wasn't exactly the most appealing prospect for me. And I had been putting it away for as long as I possible could with discretion. But fey fate! My excuses ran out faster than the snot that oozed from my confounded nose and soon, I had Dad stand there with the blanket on his shoulder and his hands on his hips, his foot tapping at the floor with an impatient rhythm.

If being stuck under a blanket, dreading suffocation which could be mere seconds away wasn't enough, my dad had to hold my head in place just to "the steam would effectively clear my nasal passage"! It was almost like he was holding my head underwater! A word of caution to all those who've never tried this method, it makes your gooey thingies crawl out and if you're someone like me who can't stand having anything trickling down your nose, you'll be tempted to go "Ew! Ew! Ew!", don't! It only makes it worse! There is a very great chance that you might end up letting it into your mouth. Ugh.... the very thought of it makes me want to puke!

But to give the heathen practice it's fair share of credit, it did make me feel better and I should say I can actually breathe through my nose now! But if you'd pay me a million bucks to do it again, I'd just scream and run away.... far far away! Oh the Horror!

P.S. When I tried opening up the PNG file of the rhinovirus in Photoshop, it froze..... Like I said, I hate that stupid, rotund, bundle of proteins to Tatooine!


  1. Oh, i HATE colds! I always seem to get them on the school holidays! Not fair!

  2. Hi Dolly, I know exactly what you mean! That, I say is because the rhinovirus is gaining sentience over us. They purposefully do their horrendous things when we're enjoying life the most! Nobody's safe! Run! Run for your lives!