How to ride a bike in Chennai Roads - A victim's guide to survival

When your friend calls on you and asks you out for a movie, it is only natural that you are all happy-happy! And if this excursion comes after a long time of forced seclution where you're forced to do nothing but study, many would probably jump for joy! And though I don't actually hate the 'study' part, I did jump for joy.

Oh yes... this was supposed to be a victim's guide right? So, let's get right into it people!

• Rule no.1: Never... Ever... wear tight denim skirts and attempt to drive a Honda Dio. It can not only make you look like a total 'sissy' diva out on her first ride, but it can also give you serious side aches!
• Rule no.2: Always wear a helmet. It may look a little stupid with the denim skirt (another reason why you shouldn't wear denim skirts when 'you' drive. If it is your boyfriend or some other equally flauntable companion, by all means.... wear that denim! Show those legs! ;)) But rest assured.... you'd look even stupider in a hospital tunic having your brain operated upon just because you though the helmet was totally unnecessary.
• Rule no.3: Keep it in mind that following traffic rules can lead to people looking down on you. But if you don't and there's some sort of accident, the same people will take approximately 0.782 nano-seconds to blame it on you.
• Rule no.4: Make sure you don't have a rabid maniac of a friend going in front of you, leading the way... It can be pure horror!
• Rule no.5: Get it into the thick skull of your maniac of a friend that right turns and left turns call for indications (eg: you've these blinkie-blinkies that're called indicators... and if you want to go right, you put the right blinkie-blinkie on and if you want to go left, you put the left one on. Kapish? Or wave your hand like you're flagging down a bus! DO SOMETHING, DAGNAMIT!)
• Rule no.6: Ultimate rule
  Avoid driving in these manic streets if you can help it!

And yes... I managed to think of all this when I was driving... I wonder if this means I was neglecting my driving.

P.S. - This post was supposed to make no coherent sense. If it does... well blame it on me, why don't you! >__<